July 15 is Cow Appreciation Day, and as a person writing for a blog about books, I wasn’t entirely sure how to write about it. I recall there being cows in books I read as a child – Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type comes to mind. However, in the books I’ve read more recently, there don’t seem to be very many cows in significant roles, or at all. And because only good can come from adding more animal friends to novels, here are some book genres that need more cows in them.
Fantasy
There are fantasy versions of plenty of animals, but I feel like cows either show up as regular cows or are absent. We need adversaries like ‘the Great Cow of Southwood’ (any resemblance to an actual creature or place is unintentional and please point it out so I can purchase the book) instead of just having just another dragon. Dragons are cool, don’t get me wrong, but have you almost been stampeded by a cow the size of a building that shoots lightning from its nose?
Science Fiction
Cows are probably already in science fiction because people tend to murder farm animals when conducting experiments (Maybe? I don’t really read science fiction), so it would be nice for cows to play a positive role in these books. I mean, with advanced technology, you can’t science a way to have a positive relationship with animals? I’m all for science fiction where the fiction part is that humans as an entire species actually respect the planet.
Mystery
Are cows mysterious? I don’t think they are especially, but they live in fields, where murders seem to take place, so they must see a lot. Perhaps detectives should dedicate time to interpreting cow speech rather than going around interviewing people who are clearly innocent and exposing their various secrets. Probably, this would just end with the cows having to expose their secrets, whatever those secrets might be.
Romance
Ok, romance novels always have to come up with some complicated way to get couples together, and I see no reason why that reason shouldn’t be cows. I mean, cows, in their all-seeing fields, probably watch the idiot humans trying to romance each other and failing miserably and have to come up with all sorts of complicated ways to make the relationship work or fail. Why shouldn’t every romance novel ever have been set up by cows? The cows might fall in love as well for good measure.
Historical Fiction
Are historical cows different from modern cows? Maybe we should have historical cow fiction and find out. If cows can set up humans in relationships, why can’t they orchestrate historical events?
Where else would you like to see more cows? Let us know!