9 Ways Cats and Reading Don’t Mix

Cats seem like the perfect reading buddies, but are they really? Here’s a look at ways in which cats and reading don’t mix.

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Cats seem like the perfect reading buddies, but are they really? Here’s a look at ways in which cats and reading don’t mix:





Your Cat Sits on Your Book

The most classic of cat problems, perhaps, it makes for a good photograph but is not especially fun when you are actually trying to read said book and are not just taking pictures of it. You can try placing your book on top of your cat, but then you run the risk of offending them, being clawed, or worse, having your cat call in a back-up cat to cover more area.


Your Book Becomes a New Toy

Perhaps as a result of trying to keep your cat from sitting on your book, the cat seeks revenge. Since you are the feeder of the cat and are capable of producing massages, your cat can’t directly destroy your life, so instead they may take out their rage on the book instead, leaving its torn body for you to find, or gifting it a one-way ride in their water dish.


Your Cat Delivers Trophies

Picture the scene: you’re sitting in a chair (or wherever you read from), when suddenly your cat walks into the room, carrying a toy, only it isn’t a toy. You realize this creature is a mouse, and, as your cat drops it on the floor, you realize that it’s a living mouse, and that it’s scrambling under your furniture where you and your cat can’t reach it. Your cat quickly decides the mouse isn’t worth the wait, leaving you and the mouse to get better acquainted.


Your Cat Gets Stuck

They say curiosity killed the cat, and while this perhaps doesn’t always happen, it certainly can lead your cat into sticky situations. It’s fairly hard to concentrate on adventures or sweet, sweet romances when your cat has their head stuck in a box or has stuffed their head through the bars on the back of a chair and can’t seem to figure out how to get it out. Good job, cat.






Your Cat Uses Your Book for an Invention

Your book has disappeared again, but this time it is nowhere near the water dish. Rather than destroy the book, your cat has come up with a better use for it, as part of a death ray that they’ve been constructing in that one section of the basement that’s full of spiders and best avoided. How the book fits into the death ray, you aren’t quite sure. It just seems to be hooked up to the back as if for the cat to read.


Your Cat Creates an Army

The spiders surrounding your cat’s death ray also seem to be moving in an odd pattern, and after a moment you realize that they seem to be helping with the construction of the death ray. Has your cat hired them? You spot what appears to be a contract, written in cat fur, but entirely unintelligible. Upon spotting you, the spiders begin working faster, and some of the larger ones are approaching you looking hostile. Perhaps it is time to go.


Your Cat Conquers The Entirety of Canada

Perhaps you shouldn’t have let the death ray slide, because it’s currently on the news that your cat has conquered Canada. It turns out that the death ray wasn’t a death ray, but a cat toy launcher that scattered cat toys all across the land as a distraction for the humans. The humans were not distracted, but the spiders certainly did the trick, and now your cat apparently is running another country from your basement. You think you see your book lying in a puddle on some of the news footage, but it could just be your imagination.


Your Cat Creates a Ban on Reading

Apparently, your book was not pleasing to your cat, because they have constructed a ban on reading, active immediately, for the people of Canada and you. You’ve tried convincing your cat otherwise, but your cat keeps miming unknowable paw gestures and then having the spiders remove you from their lair. You’re at your wits end and thinking of purchasing a spray bottle to punish your cat and try to take back Canada.


Your Cat Eats the Sun

Your spray bottle plan failed, and in a final act of defiance your cat has managed to eat the sun. You’re not entirely sure how this is possible, but apparently your cat is immune to physics and the laws of common sense and is on their way to becoming the supreme leader of the galaxy and you don’t have enough light to start your replacement book that you bought right before the disaster. Well. Next time you are getting a dog.


Featured Image via Amazon