The First Great Prophecy featured in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series states: “A half-blood of the eldest gods / shall reach sixteen against all odds.” Well, just like its titular hero Percy Jackson, the first book in the series, The Lighting Thief, has also reached sixteen. The Lighting Thief brought Greek mythology into the modern world, and introduced readers to the core trio – Percy, Annabeth, and Grover – that we would go on to follow for four more books and even re-visit from time to time in Rick Riordan’s additional sequel series. To celebrate the book that started it all on its 16th anniversary, let’s take a look at some all too relatable, yet oh-so-hilarious quotes from The Lightning Thief.
“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.”
“Deadlines just aren’t real to me until I’m staring one in the face.”
“Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.”
“Go on with what your heart tells you, or you will lose all.”
“All I could think of was that the teachers must’ve found the illegal stash of candy I’d been selling out of my dorms room. Or maybe they’d realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”
“Suspecting and knowing are not the same.”
“Humans see what they want to see.”
“‘How did you die?’ ‘We er… drowned in a bathtub.’ ‘All three of you?’ ‘It was a big bathtub.'”
“Great, I thought. We just blowtorched a national monument.”
“I’d love to tell you I had some deep revelation on my way down, that I came to terms with my own mortality, laughed in the face of death, et cetera. The truth? My only thought was: Aaaaggghhhhh!”
“Where’s the glory in repeating what others have done?”
“Once I got over the fact that my Latin teacher was a horse, we had a nice tour, though I was careful not to walk behind him. I’d done pooper-scooper patrol in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade a few times, and I’m sorry, I did not trust Chiron’s back the way I trusted his front.”
“‘If I had my way,’ Dionysus said, ‘I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames. We’d sweep up the ashes and be done with a lot of trouble. But Chiron seems to feel this would be against my mission at this cursed camp: to keep you little brats safe from harm.’ ‘Spontaneous combustion is a form of harm, Mr. D,’ Chiron put in. ‘Nonsense,’ Dionysus said. ‘Boy wouldn’t feel a thing. Nevertheless, I’ve agreed to restrain myself. I’m think of turning you into a dolphin instead, sending you back to your father.'”
“What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades’ underwear?”
“Gabe scratched his double chin. ‘Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip.. And maybe if the kid apologized for interrupting my poker game.’ Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week.”
“Sugar and caffeine. My willpower crumbled.”
featured image via amazon and canva