Well, well, well, my bookish tweeters, here we are again: right in the middle of yet another month in the summer! Seriously, COVID-19 seemed to have sucked out all that we’ve ever known the very concept of time to be and just left us with all these empty spaces both on our calendars and in our planners…
Anyway, I know I’m a bit late with this piece, especially since it’s been a few days since the exact midpoint of August, but hey, if this time in quarantine has taught us mainly one thing, it’s that it’s better (at least slightly) late than never. (If you didn’t learn that, then perhaps you should keep it in mind.) Needless to say, this piece will only contain the tweets from the previous week, and as for the ones this week, there will be a special piece on those later this week. (You’ll see!)
Also, before I forget: happy belated Book Lovers Day! It may have been on the 9th of this month, but wouldn’t you agree that every day should be a special to celebrate who we are as lovers of books?! Luckily, there is a another similar holiday all about reading books next month, which is National Read-a-Book Day, and I actually did a piece for that day last year, one I would be more than happy to share in my tweets piece coming out around that time, but for now, here’s a special Book Lovers Day tweet, courtesy of Epic Reads…
Just thinking about how every day should be #BookLoversDay idk 🥺
— Epic Reads ☀️ (@EpicReads) August 9, 2020
But anyway, let’s get on with our regularly scheduled tweets!
The Business Of Love
Don’t you just hate it when other people, especially your relatives, ask about your private life? And even more so when you have little next to nothing to tell them? And even more so when they ask why that is?! Well, when you’re coming up empty with responses, here’s just a handful of what you can say…
Fun ways to respond when your relatives ask why you're still single:
– Alack, what noise is this?
– Ask me not.
– Speak no more.
– Away, you rogue, away!
– Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle toward my hand?— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 10, 2020
With the right delivery of any of these, especially that last one, it would be just enough to make your family stop asking!
Nothing To See Here!
Trying to make a better person out of yourself but just don’t know how? Well, let’s go over what you have so far…
Am I attractive? No.
Do I have a great personality? Also no.
Do I keep my wife locked away in a secret room on the third floor of my mysterious Gothic manor? No, of course not. Why, did you hear something?
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 10, 2020
Hey, no judgment here, but then again, I never asked that…
‘Tis The Villains’ Folly
Have you ever wondered why villains in stories – be it in books, movies, TV shoes, etc. – pretty much never succeed with their evil schemes? I wonder why that is…
Villains monologuing pic.twitter.com/lnlXQy2DHQ
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 11, 2020
If only they spend their time carrying out their schemes without any sort of explanation instead of monologuing about them to the heroes… What’s really more important: getting away with it, or getting the credit for it? For them, it’s just: Reputation > Competence, and that there lies the villains’ folly…
The Call You Always Needed
You know the pleasure that comes in hearing back from old friends, especially if it’s been a really long time?
Odysseus: *gets lost at sea*
Athena ten years later: https://t.co/O0KOXd6iy7
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 11, 2020
After being away from home for 20 years, a call for help from your favorite goddess really helps!
When The Going Gets Tough
We all go through stuff. It happens – to both the best and the worst of us. It can often defer us from the things we need to take care of…
Sorry it took me so long to text you back, I was caring for my dear friend Bunbury whose extraordinarily poor health requires my constant attention
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 12, 2020
Like I said, it happens. When something going on in your life requires that much attention, just say the word and more time will be given for you to complete all that needs completing!
Just make sure it all gets done or you’re fired.
What’s Buggin’ You?
You know those days when you wake up and you just don’t feel quite like yourself?
"you've changed" yeah I woke from uneasy dreams to discover I'd transformed into a gigantic insect
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 13, 2020
It could be like that. For others though, that kind of feeling can last for even years, and you just can’t shake it off completely, no full body transformation required!
The Stars Tell All!
When you have all the tropes in all of Shakespeare’s plays memorized and you don’t know what else to do with them but this…
The signs as Shakespeare tropes
Aries: Regicide
Taurus: Miscommunication
Gemini: Double entendres
Cancer: Pirates
Leo: Madness
Virgo: Bad disguises
Libra: Faking your death
Scorpio: Revenge
Sagittarius: The fool
Capricorn: Crossdressing
Aquarius: Homoerotic subtext
Pisces: Puns— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 14, 2020
As a Libra myself, I never knew that faking your own death was all the rage during the early fall months… then again, I can see it now. What trope are you according to your own zodiac sign?
Heart of Stone
Look, sometimes in life, you just have to go for it, even and especially when you’ve been turned down so many times and you kinda know what the answer might be…
You think you can hurt my feelings? I proposed to Elizabeth Bennet with no doubt of a favorable answer
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 14, 2020
It seems as though nothing can get through this player’s emotional shield. I wonder if each of us would be better off having one than not… Then again, nothing could be as fierce as Elizabeth Bennet’s pride, so I think we should be fine.
That’s all for now! Stay tuned later this week for a special tweets piece. Consider it a wake-up call for something you haven’t really thought about in a long time but know you can’t avoid…
Featured Image Made via Photoshop













