Well, my bookish tweeters, we’ve finally made it: the first day of fall this year is finally upon us – though for some of us who haven’t been outside the house in a very long time probably can’t even tell the difference – and of course, this is my first bookish tweets piece in the past two weeks… which is why I’ve decided to combine the tweets from the previous two weeks into one! (Hence the DELUXE in the title.)
So, without further ado, let’s get to it…
*Warning: 15 tweets up ahead, plus a couple special news tweets in-between (in-be-tweets?), so if you still wish to browse through an extra-lengthy tweets piece, go right ahead!
Busy Life, Happy Life
Chances are in life: you might have a friend in your group who’s like this most days…
If anyone needs me, I'll be committing acts of hedonism while the cursed painting in my attic grows ever more hideous
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 8, 2020
Then again, if you substitute the painting for your own person, who hasn’t been like this on occasion after all these months of staying in due to the pandemic?
The One Who Has It All
It’s hard to someone nowadays who has everything you’re looking for, right? Well, check out this beekcake of a partner…
Nobody has all 5:
– A wife
– Great skill with a bow and arrow
– A thirst for glory
– A shrewd and cunning nature
– The misfortune to have angered Poseidon, god of the sea— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 9, 2020
Sure, we may have done similarly-formatted tweets to this one, but everyone is different and therefore has a different type of their own to strive for in seeking! (By the way, if you do find someone like this, run.)
V.I.Q. (Very Important Question)
Let’s take a moment right now for us to ask you this very important question that Read It Forward also asked…
https://twitter.com/ReadItForward/status/1303832808465600513
Don’t worry if you haven’t gotten a favorite one you read all the way through as of yet (I’m still trying so myself), but if you haven’t read anything in the midst of this pandemic, please do it now before this year is even over!
What A Twist!
Don’t we all love a good plot twist in a story? (I mean, who doesn’t?) I’ll tell you right now: there can be no better twist than this one right here…
The only gender reveal party that interests me is the one at the end of a Shakespeare comedy where everybody who's been crossdressing up until this point dramatically reveals their disguise and gets married to a duke or lord
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 10, 2020
Maybe back then, it wasn’t so much a twist as this was common knowledge in Elizabethan England, but I mean, it still beats out any typical gender reveal party! (Not that any one is bad, but if you want to do one in the best possible way that would catch anyone off-guard, this would be the way to do it!)
A Warning To Be Heard
I’ll just leave this here in case anyone needs it…
I don't know who needs to hear this but that Russian aristocrat who lures shipwrecked sailors to his remote island is absolutely going to hunt you for sport
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 10, 2020
You know, just so you know what’s coming.
The Best Line
A lot of us can probably quote from so many of our favorite shows and movies. (I know that my parents and I can – all the time, in fact!) But never can any line come anywhere significantly close to this one…
straight line:
_____dashed line:
_ _ _ _iconic line:
"An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do."— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 11, 2020
Seriously, can you beat that one? I most ardently doubt you can!
It’s Not What It Looks Like
One of the things that most everyone is looking forward to when we all leave our homes in full for the first time in a long time is how we’re all going to look, especially with our uncut hair, but I don’t think anyone could ever come out looking like this…
Some of you have never dragged your daughter's boyfriend through the sewers of Paris and it shows
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 14, 2020
Then again, never say never in the city of love.
Also, a quick book rec on behalf of SparkNotes that you might find interesting…
Apropos of nothing in particular, we'd like to start today off with a book recommendation: No Man of Woman Born by @AnaMardoll. Great for anyone seeking fantasy books about trans and nonbinary characters subverting gendered prophecies. pic.twitter.com/KzGSbezcpy
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 15, 2020
Now, with that out of the way, let’s get back to the main tweets list!
One Of Two Types
You always hear people talk about mainly two types of people: the assertive vs. the passive. I’ll bet you haven’t heard any description like this before…
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who get lured into wine cellars on the promise of a fine vintage, and those who do the luring
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 15, 2020
There’s really no in-between in this scenario.
My Downplayed Condolences
When you want to feel sorry for someone about a loved one’s passing but really don’t…
Janie Starks when Jody dies pic.twitter.com/dtMwNvfzxx
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 15, 2020
At least their grief has been acknowledged, which is the best thing you can do it when you’re not really feeling the sorrow.
Macbeth: Spoiler-Free Edition
Welcome back to our special ongoing “Spoiler-Free Edition” tweet series. This time, we’re going to clue you in on what happens in Macbeth without any context, so it’s not really that spoiler-y! Here are the pics…
Macbeth spoilers but there's no context pic.twitter.com/pAVCr9zJ52
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 16, 2020
Be warned though: if you’re not too careful, you’ll probably misread these clues just as much as Macbeth misread the prophecy behind his death, and if you need a refresher on what that prophecy is, refer back to the title of SparkNotes’s book rec from earlier.
The Stress In Traveling
When traveling by yourself – not that you won’t be doing any of that anytime soon, at least not in the conventional sense – you’ve probably – though unwillingly – asked this question before…
I'm embarking on a journey to hell accompanied by the poet Virgil, does anyone want anything
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 17, 2020
Well in this case, I wonder what responses you’ll get…
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 18, 2020
Just as I suspected!
The Ways Of The Heart
Remember the Shakespearean love languages tweet we covered? Well, try this one on for size…
The 5 love languages:
– Rescuing the other person from a bothersome child
– Securing them a carriage ride
– Deferring to their good judgment in a crisis
– Offering them an umbrella
– Slipping them a love letter and promptly exiting the room— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 21, 2020
There’s more than one way to express love: figure out how you love and flaunt it around for all your potential suitors to see!
The Other Man
Do you easily get jealous, especially over someone who exerts a certain strength you are well known for? And others are admiring the other person for it? Well, you don’t have to tell that to this certain character twice…
Javert whenever a nearby man is strong pic.twitter.com/bjx18Oox3Y
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 22, 2020
Javert knows exactly how you feel in that department, so don’t rub it in too much!
A Stupid Question
I’m sure you’ve gotten a stupid question, whose answer is so obvious that it’s ridiculous one is even asking it, before. We all have. But there is one question that is the dumbest…
Don't ask me "wyd." You know I'm doomed to hold up the celestial heavens for all eternity
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) September 22, 2020
That’d be like asking that to Helio while he’s making the sun go across the sky, or to Prometheus while being tied to a boulder and having his liver getting plucked out by an eagle every day, or to Sisyphus while he’s rolling his boulder up the mountain for all eternity. That’s just what they do!
The Jack Of All Trades
You may not have gone through something like this before, but keep this in mind to be thankful for the life you have and to not take those great things in your life for granted…
It's all fun and games until your sister kills her husband and convinces you to pose as her in the royal court you've been exiled from until it's safe for her to return 🙄
— Epic Reads ☀️ (@EpicReads) September 22, 2020
It may be a rare case, but it’s not impossible.
To cap off this really long article, since it is U.S. Voter Registration Day, see SparkNotes’s tweet for more info on how to register for this year’s election – because we’re gonna need all the votes we can get!
https://twitter.com/SparkNotes/status/1308522003394187264
Featured Image Made via Photoshop













