Howdy ho, bookish tweeters! (Shoutout to those who got that South Park reference…)
In all seriousness here, can you believe that it is the last day of August (a.k.a. the last day of COVID Summer)? I know: I can’t believe it either! Today is in fact August 31st, which was why I decided to hold off on putting out last week’s bookish tweets on Friday – that, and the fact that there weren’t really enough bookish tweets to add to this piece, so… it’s a bit of a win-win even if all that today brought me was one more tweet from the legendary SparkNotes Twitter account.
Anyway, with all said, let’s dive in… and not just dive into your pool, like I will be later today, because it’s the last freakin’ day of August! (Not to pour salt over the wound here, but pretty soon is gonna be the last day of summer just before the first day of fall on September 22nd, but that won’t be for another three weeks… unless time plays its usual tricks on us again and makes that date come around far sooner than expected.)
A True Monster
When you can think of what a monster is – or should I say what a monster was used to be thought of – you would think back to all the classical, traditional horror-movie monsters, like vampires, werewolves, and of course Frankenstein’s monster. Nowadays, that term has been more fluid and nuanced in that anyone committing horrific acts are considered monsters, even this kind of person…
The biggest red flag on a man's bookshelf is a hollowed-out book that contains evidence of his dastardly schemes
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 24, 2020
So, beware of this double-threat: a potential threat to humanity and a definite threat to that poor hollowed-out book. That man should be ashamed of himself, how dare he?!
The Rightful Ruler?
Speaking of people to be wary of, you might want to keep this kind of person on your radar…
Maven Calore to his Silver court every morning at their weird briefings: pic.twitter.com/5cmgSTVayb
— Epic Reads ☀️ (@EpicReads) August 25, 2020
A potential threat to humanity? Maybe not right now at the moment, but definitely keep tabs on them, even if they are in high standing – in that case, that is even worse!
A Twice-Better Man
So instead of going for men who do damage to yourself, others, and your books – go for this kind of man…
Get a man who can do both (insult your family's social standing AND propose marriage)
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 25, 2020
I mean, it’s the best of both worlds!
The Bigger Man
It’s okay to admit when you’re wrong, even when it’s hard. In fact, it may even be the best thing to do especially when times are tough…
Odysseus in the Iliad vs. Odysseus in the Odyssey pic.twitter.com/E2KcIHODiy
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 25, 2020
…and that would be even all the more telling of your character when your character’s name is Odysseus!
The Friend Group Everyone Knows
I may have talked about this sort of thing before in a previous piece, but I cannot stress enough the importance of designating everyone in your group to a literary character trope. I mean, just look at the possibilities here…
Every friend group has a protagonist, a narrative foil, a love interest, an anti-hero, and an unreliable narrator
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 26, 2020
Think about it: what other group of friends would have a regular schtick every time you get together to hang out or go on an adventure somewhere? You’re the protagonist (of course), your narrative foil will be fighting with you over the love interest in the group, the antihero will be your enemy, and the unreliable narrator who will telling your tales is the liar who gets you all roped into sticky situations at every turn!
And they may not be listed here, you have to have one or two comedic sidekicks handy to add some comic relief into the mix. Seriously, the stories are writing themselves!
The Trendsetter Of All Time!
Are you not ahead of or even aware of what the latest trend is? (I know I’m not!) Maybe think outside the box. Set your own trend. Don’t wait for others to set it for you. Maybe you can do something like this…
We need to normalize letting a raven into your home and asking him questions
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 26, 2020
…but then again, who am I to tell you what trends to set or not. Nevertheless, everyone knows that the sole determiner of what trends to set for others to follow is a talking raven. I mean, it is common knowledge after all!
Wishing You Well…
It’s always important to wish someone well, especially during these times, but it’s also vitally important to hope whatever email you’re sending them finds its way to them no problem…
"I hope this email finds you well."
How this email finds me: pic.twitter.com/7zQw4ApGAH
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 31, 2020
However, if the first box isn’t checked while the second is, then maybe that’s not the right box to check, now is it? Then again, it’s not the email’s fault if it comes in the middle of a bloodbath in the Danish court, or if it only comes around too little too late for a pair of star-crossed lovers to read before taking their lives, or even if it comes too late for Gatsby to get the message about Daisy before getting blown into his own pool by George Myrtle.
Well, that’s it for this week’s – and this month’s – batch of bookish tweets! If you’re already starting your classes as am I for the fall 2020 semester – either hybrid or basically just online – then I wish you luck, and if you haven’t yet, then I wish you even more luck for when that time comes. Until then, I’ll leave you with this tweet to think about your bookish accomplishments for this past month and possibly even start planning about next month…
https://twitter.com/ReadItForward/status/1298428529131036677
Featured Image Made via Photoshop













