In addition to being a hugely successful author, Stephen King is also well-known for some of his hilarious trolls on Twitter. However, not all of us were able to appreciate his hilarity, notably President Trump, who had ruthlessly blocked King on Twitter, leaving the author within an ‘existential wasteland of Trumplessness.’
As one of our favorite authors, we feel it is necessary to spread the joy. Among the 800+ tweets he has typed up, here are some of the funniest. For more, you can follow him on Twitter here.
Benny’s reaction at being carjacked by Molly, aka the Thing of Evil. “Drive, you big bastard,” Molly snarled. pic.twitter.com/ZGypcpYema
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) April 7, 2017
I believe the most common phrase in the movies is either “You look like shit” or “You need to get some sleep.”
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) December 19, 2013
If you’re not a fan of bagpipe sounds…
The difference between an onion and a bagpipe: nobody cries when you chop up a bagpipe.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 9, 2015
On the Hunger Games
If Katniss Everdeen’s friend Peeta got blown up, would the resulting crater be a Peeta pocket?
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) November 15, 2015
Perhaps the ultimate insult to Sean Spicer.
If donuts were awarded for dumb, Sean Spicer would have his own Krispy Kreme franchise.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) April 11, 2017
On the release of Taken 3
I can’t believe how many bad TAKEN jokes I’ve seen since yesterday. I was TAKEN ABACK.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 6, 2015
NOBODY touches his waffles.
You will take my waffle when you pry it from my cold, dead, syrup-caked hands. I stand my ground.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 19, 2014
A golden tip for aspiring writers.
More & more I believe the secret to successful writing is strong brewed tea.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) November 23, 2014
A true fact.
Superbowl Sunday, followed in many cases by Hangover Monday.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) February 2, 2015
Our reaction exactly!
GAME OF THRONES finale: that was…was…let me just say it was not what I expected. :-(
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) June 15, 2015
Unless you want to get arrested…
“I apologize” and “I’m sorry” aren’t quite the same thing. Not a good idea to say “I apologize” at a funeral.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) May 4, 2017
On the malicious nature of autocorrect
Spell Check is just evil.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 4, 2017
I’m mistaken. Spell check isn’t evil. Autocorrect is evil.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 4, 2017
To conclude, a note to Justin Bieber.
Memo to Justin Bieber: For the young celeb, life is a banquet of free food. What they don’t tell you is that you are often the last course.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 24, 2014
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