So last week’s ‘funniest tweets’ list actually ended up being published on Tuesday, so it may seem a little soon for another one, but honestly the folks at Twitter dot come just don’t stop dishing out amusing tidbits and so the time has come again. Enjoy, children.
could just be me but I think the literary world needs more books about male profs cheating on their boring wives with a graduate student exhibiting more joie de vivre
— Ellen Tannam (@incogellen) November 9, 2018
Just bought a Paddington Bear stuffed animal and the woman checking me out fully took the price tag off assuming it was meant to be a gift but BABY GIRL IT IS SIMPLY FOR YOUR OLD PAL BEAN
— Beanie Feldstein (@BeanieFeldstein) November 8, 2018
@hankgreen I’m not sure what, like, series of life decisions led to you watching a bunch of snooker highlight videos while logged in to vlogbrothers, but it is really harshing on my recommendation engine.
— John Green (@johngreen) November 9, 2018
Found this “Christmas list” under a table in my classroom. Now just try and tell me this isn’t the best thing you’ve read today! ? #readingrocks pic.twitter.com/HZxrF2ROZy
— Sophie Bee (@_MissieBee) November 7, 2018
does Jaky rowling think she invented wizards they were actualy invented about 40 years ago sorry :(
— Kids Write Jokes (@KidsWriteJokes) November 7, 2018
i like to think of j.r.r. tolkien teaching the undergrads of pembroke college oxford all day long and then sitting down to write the lord of the rings like ‘SO… the age of maturity for hobbits is gonna be THIRTY-THREE now’
— iris (@iris__ks) November 6, 2018
Ted Hughes: I don’t submit my poems anywhere like a sell-out
Ted Hughes: I live in a disgusting flat & publish in my friend’s ~literary review~ like a REAL ARTIST
Sylvia Plath: *types up & submits Ted’s poems to the detriment of her own work*
Ted Hughes: I’m a self-made man— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) November 5, 2018
HER: Talk dirty to me
ME: Filthy little Hobbitses.— Carl Kinsella (@TVsCarlKinsella) November 5, 2018
*29-year-old debut author*: a prodigy! a genius! literature’s new hope
*30-year-old debut author*: withered crone, old lady of legend, legally a ghost,
— the library haunter ??? (@SketchesbyBoze) November 3, 2018
everyone: don’t EVER judge a book by its cover
book cover artists: pic.twitter.com/38SoocOlLB
— f thot fitzgerald (@dracomallfoys) November 5, 2018
Featured Image Via Better Living through Beowulf