You all know the Twitter account Guy in Your MFA, mostly because you don’t need to be in an MFA program to know “that guy.” He loves cigarettes, whiskey, and writing complex stories misconstruing women he has met once—or, better yet, has never even spoken to. This behavior, of course, is a natural extension of his genius and comes from no deeper flaw. If you’re pretty but not pretty enough to be threatening, he might let you listen to him talk about his unpublished novel for five hours before never texting you again.
Guy In Your MFA@GuyInYourMFAJust because I drink 6 glasses of whiskey alone every night doesn’t mean I’m an “alcoholic.” It means I’m an artist. Did I write anything last night? no, I passed out and vomited on my mattress but what does that matter
The writer behind Guy in Your MFA, Dana Schwarz, has two published novels—and another parody Twitter account. Dystopian YA Novel depicts a grim reality in which writers can only lazily allude to poverty and racism without ever actually acknowledging what real racism and poverty look like. Also, ordinary words have capital letters to let you know they’re Significant.
Dystopian YA Novel@DystopianYAI, an attractive white girl, am the person most at risk under this authoritarian regime.
Now there’s a new literary Twitter on the scene… even if this character probably has an “old soul.” Bougie London Literary Woman made her debut in November 2018, even if she’s spent far longer strolling the nighttime London promenades, watching the lamplight run across the stone like water. Or whatever literary types do to stay inspired. The mysterious fictional woman describes herself as “a twenty-something seabird adrift on the tides of London. Can be found devouring literature, swimming wild, and scribbling.” The owners of the account are currently unknown, though the bio reassures fans: “a man is not behind this account dw.” Highlights include:
Bougie London Literary Woman@BougieLitWomanThrilled to have finally contracted this season’s cough; it plays so perfectly into my fantasy of being the glamorously consumptive daughter in a country house novel
Bougie London Literary Woman@BougieLitWomanA eureka moment in packing for my weekend away! I shall eschew all clothing to make more room in my trunk for books, and go nude but for an overcoat and a sharp brogue
Bougie London Literary Woman@BougieLitWomanMadly besotted with my silver-backed hairbrush, and I spend the dying hours of each day watching the clock ‘til I can tend to my mane with a hundred strokes before bed. I suspect I shall be unable to resist doing so by candlelight
The account’s recent popularity means that the mystery women behind Bougie London Literary Woman (yes, we do know there are multiple people!) has garnered an interview with The Guardian. The Literary Women answered lighthearted questions while remaining in character: when asked “Smythson or Moleskine?” the character responded, “I buy all my stationery in Florence; English paper lacks a certain verve.”
Gif Via Tenor.com
The most surprising detail in the interview isn’t actually that surprising at all: the account gets lots of a certain kind of male attention… “which goes to show that even if you are an explicitly fictional, non-existent parody woman, you somehow still get DM slides from creepy men.” Maybe such glamorous adversities will help inspire the characters’ undoubtedly sprawling novel one day.
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